Verity by Colleen Hoover

(Unnamed Town), Vermont

CW: Some (hilariously, pathetically bad) NSFW quotes below, trigger warnings listed in the spoiler/plot overview section).

If you have been on the internet in the past year, then you’ve probably heard about this book (although I was really surprised to find out it was published in 2018!). Colleen Hoover has gained a huge following on TikTok, and Verity is the book I’ve heard more people recommend than any of her others. Honestly, I don’t understand why. It was simply not a good book. Like at all. It’s like a bad mashup of the movie A Simple Favor and Gone Girl with terrible, unnecessary sex scenes mixed in.

Basic plot: Famous writer Verity Crawford is in an unfortunate car accident leaving her in a mostly vegetative state, so her husband, Jeremy Crawford, and her publisher track down another author (Lowen Ashleigh) to complete her popular thriller series (told from the villain's point of view…I think that’s mentioned about 76 times in the novel). Through her research and an unfortunate and unnecessary run in with Jeremy in the beginning of the book, Lowen learns that Verity's twin daughters recently died, both in separate accidents. Lowen goes to the Crawford house in Vermont to read through Verity’s work, and ends up stumbling upon a manuscript of Verity’s autobiography. The autobiography reveals that Verity is a psychopath, and she admits to several serious crimes. What should Lowen do with this knowledge?

I’m going to sound so haughty, in the following paragraph. I really don’t mean to be. I don’t think every book you read has to be drawn out and cerebral. Books can be entertaining just like television or movies. However, this book is what is wrong with books nowadays. It’s why I refuse to get a BOTM subscription. I think we should be reading books from people that have at least a little bit of talent for writing. Everything in this book was spoon fed to you. Sure, the ending was “unexpected,” but it’s because there were no hints to it throughout. The plot was this person may be the bad one…no this one…no this one…no this one, then - oh - here’s what actually happened. But there was no subtlety, no back and forth, no little clues. Just extremely straight forward until the “twist.” And there was no prose, no getting inside the head of any of the (extremely poorly developed) characters.

Jeremy was literally a montage of DILF footage you would see in a movie. Lowen and Verity think he’s so attractive and wonderful because he does…the bare minimum. Wow! He does 50% of the work (actual quote)? He will kiss his son on the side of the head? He buys tampons??? I’m supposed to swoon because of that?

Lowen served absolutely no purpose (I actually saw a review that said the book would be so much more interesting if it was just Jeremy discovering the manuscript and I 400% agree). Her backstory would have been interesting if it contributed to the story somehow. Instead, it’s just filler.

I can look past bad writing and bad characters for a good plot, but what got in the way of that for me was the overabundance of extremely poorly written sex scenes. They simultaneously felt like they were written by a 14 year old boy and a 70 year old woman who never had sex. Like listen to some of these! These are actual quotes from a book with a 4.39 Goodreads rating with over 1.5 million ratings. What the actual fuck.

• “I congratulated him with a blowjob. It was the first time I swallowed. That’s how happy I was to see him…When I let him come in my mouth, I had no idea how much there would be. How long I would have to continue swallowing. Keeping my composure was tough while his dick was in my throat, drowning me.”

• “He started fucking me on the counter, but we finished in bed.”

• “Even after twins, my body was nearly perfect. Aside from the scar on my abdomen, the most important parts of me were still intact. Still fairly firm. And Jeremy’s temple between my legs was still nice and tight.”

  • This book was published in 2018 by a woman. I don’t care if the rest of this novel was amazing (it was not, if you haven’t caught that vibe yet), this sentence alone should have stopped a publisher, an editor, an early reader, someone, in their tracks. That sentence is why I’m not going to read Colleen Hoover ever again. What a stupid, inaccurate, and misogynistic fucking thing to say. Jesus.

Let’s get into some more of the nitty gritty…I suppose.

Spoilers Ahead

TW: Assault, Self-mutilation, Mutilation of a Fetus, Murder

In her manuscript, Verity is a psychopath. She wants to kill her daughters (or at least one of them), in part, because she’s jealous that she’s no longer getting all of Jeremy’s attention. She attempts to self-abort with a clothes hanger, various pills, falling, etc. Another example of just horrible writing…no detail no prose just ugh and ick:

“He fell asleep while I was in the bathroom, attempting to abort his daughters with a wire hanger. I tried for half an hour, until my stomach started to cramp and blood was running down my legs.”

Once they’re born, Verity has a dream that Harper is going to kill Chastin, so she thinks she needs to “save” Chastin by killing Harper. She attempts to kill Harper when she’s an infant but is almost caught by Jeremy. Chastin, who has a severe peanut allergy, ends up dying when she is 8 by (we’re told to assume) accidently eating some peanuts at a sleepover. She is found in the morning by their friend’s mom (none of the girls heard her struggling or gasping for air?). A couple months later, Harper drowns while on a canoe ride with Verity and Crew (the youngest sibling). In her autobiography, Verity describes telling Crew to hold his breath before intentionally tipping over the canoe. Verity kills Harper because she believes Harper killed her twin sister. The autobiography ends with Verity saying she is going to drive herself into a tree, which is similar to the accident that left her in a semi-vegetative state.

Unsurprisingly, Jeremy finds the manuscript. He ties Verity up and puts her in the front seat of their car. He turns off the airbag and does not buckle her seatbelt. He then manipulates the scene to make it look like Verity was driving.

After days of back and forth and dragging everything out for no reason, Lowen finally finishes the manuscript. We discover that Verity made a full recovery from her injuries and had been faking her vegetative state for quite a while. Lowen and Jeremy then kill Verity, and they get pregnant and live happily ever after.

Well, surprise! The whole autobiography was actually a weird writing exercise to help Verity to be better at writing suspense novels. This was according to a letter found in the floorboards in Verity’s room. This was supposed to be like the spinning top at the end of Inception, the one time Hoover decided to not spoon-feed the reader. It’s an interesting concept, but I don’t buy it. Nobody would write such horrible things about their family just as a “writing exercise.”

Everyone loves to brag about how quickly they read this book. I don’t think that’s necessarily a compliment. If all you want to do is get to the end of a book, does that mean you liked it? I gave this book two stars (instead of one) because I was curious about how it ended, but I resent Hoover for dragging everything out for no reason, as well as having some of the worst characters in all of literature. And the problematic, repetitive, and unnecessary sex scenes (at one point, even Lowen complains that the manuscript is full of repetitive sex scenes!). I read this book only because the entire internet seemed to be telling me I “had to read it.” But trust me, you don’t.

Review by the Numbers

Overall: 2/5

Writing: 1/5

Message: 1/5

Plot: 2/5

Character Development: 1/5

Challenges Satisfied (I’m trying to finish up some 2022 challenges still):

- Vermont (Reading My Way Around the World Challenge)

- A Book Where the Main Character’s Name is in the Title (2023 PopSugar Reading Challenge)

- A Book Everyone is Talking About (2022 Always Fully Booked Reading Challenge)

- A #BookTok Recommendation (2022 Gotta Read ‘Em All Challenge)