Saint by Sierra Simone

Semoir Monastery, Belgium

I love listening to audiobooks. However, one downside is the (potential) inability to get an accurate location. I researched a list of trappist beer-brewing monasteries in Belgium, but none of them sounded like what is said in the audiobook. I read 10+ reviews of this book, none of which went into the details of the locations visited by Aiden and Elijah on their journey. So…this is a phonetic guess. Sorry!

Speaking of audiobooks…the narrator of this book, Jacob Morgan, is amazing. I want to listen to all the books this man has narrated. His voice is beautiful, and his inflection is perfect. Four for you Jacob Morgan. Good for you, Jacob Morgan!

Content and Trigger Warnings: This book is smut, meaning that it is NSFW for lengthy, intense, detailed sex scenes designed to arouse the reader. It also talks about mental health struggles, including depression and suicidal ideation.

Ok, now into the actual review. This was a really interesting book! I read it because a #BookTok creator named laurens.little.library recommended this book saying: “This book is going to be with me until the end of my days.” I’d never heard someone talk so strongly about a book. I just had to read it. And I went in totally blind. I’m also not huge into #BookTok, so I don’t really know what this creator usually reads or advocates - it was just a video that came up on my FYP.

Well…turns out it is smut. But, like, conscious smut? It was interesting. Will this book “be with me until the end of my days?” Absolutely not. But it was interesting. The book is mostly told from the perspective of Aiden Bell, known within his monastery as Brother Patrick. Aiden became a monk about 5 years ago after leaving his boyfriend after a big fight. Brother Patrick spends his days immersed in monk life, praying throughout the day, chopping wood, doing isolation retreats and grand silences. He’s even considering changing orders to go to a monastery where there is more deprivation, isolation, and hardship. But all that changes when his ex-boyfriend, Elijah, comes to the monastery to inform Aiden that he’s getting married…

(Mild) Spoilers Ahead

I won’t give too many spoilers in this review except one (very predictable one). Elijah doesn’t just tell Aiden he’s getting married. They end up kissing, then Elijah joins Aiden on a trip to Europe visiting three different monasteries. Elijah is a writer, so his guise is that he’s there to write about the beer-making process at these monasteries. Lots of steaminess arises on their trip.

As I mentioned before, I’m not really a smut reader. (The last book I read that was mildly smutty was Verity by Colleen Hoover. The sex scenes in that awful book could have been written by a 12 year old). But this book goes further than what I imagine most smut books explore, specifically on the topics of mental health and religion (and being queer within Christianity/Catholicism). The author does a good job of describing what it’s like to struggle with mental health. I also love that Aiden pushed the boundaries of being a monk with depression. He created a support group at the monastery, and he was very open about being on medication and seeing a psychiatrist (Aiden mentions that in the past or within other sects, they do not believe in those things, stating that you should be fully reliant on God and the bible to “fix” your mental health). I’m assuming that Sierra Simone either grew up in the Catholic church or is still involved because there was a lot of information about ideas of expanding/updating Catholicism into the modern era.

Aiden’s bisexuality is talked about quite a bit in the book as well. The church’s official opinion (according to this book…I don’t care enough about Catholicism to actually look it up), is that queer people need to be celibate in order to not be leading a sinful life. Several characters in the book discuss ways that queer people can be invited into the church without needing to be celibate. It is an interesting take. I don’t picture a lot of religious people consuming smut, but the ideas are thoughtful and well-written. My queerness definitely contributed to my leaving the church while in high school, but it wasn’t the only reason. My very anti-religious, queer little heart loved the gay sex scenes on top of alters and in holy places in this book because I know how upset it would make some Catholics/Christians. But pissing off Christians really isn’t what the book was about. They were exploring ways for queer folks to find space within the church…while also having lots and lots of gay sex in places that sex was forbidden.

Basically, I can see why so many people loved this book. I liked it, but I can’t bring myself to give smut anything higher than a 4 star rating. Additionally, there were some things that bothered me. Such as, Aiden hates himself so much that he gives up his entire life to become a monk and serve a singular purpose. He wants to cut out as much of himself as he can to be a garden for God. So how does he then go out into the real world? How can he be a supportive and effective partner if he hates himself so much? Despite the book being almost exclusively told from Aiden’s point of view and being very in-depth within his thoughts, I still don’t feel like the reader gets to know him. And the parts about Aiden and Elijah falling in love (and falling back in love) are glossed over with much more emphasis on sex. That may sound like a silly critique seeing as though this is a smut book, but with so much else being detailed out (like feelings about organized religion, burnout, even Black Lives Matter), it felt kind of hollow. Like they were in love simply because they had such amazing sex so often.

I’m not going to rush out to read the rest of the Priest series, but I don’t regret reading this book. I’m not going to shout from the hilltops that everyone should read this book, but if you have interest in mental health and religion, and you enjoy M/M smut, then this is a great book to read.

Review by the Numbers

Overall: 4/5

Writing: 3/5

Message: 4/5

Plot: 2/5

Character Development: 2/5

Challenges Satisfied:

- Belgium (Reading My Way Around the World Challenge)

- A Book with a Queer Lead (2023 PopSugar Reading Challenge)

- Set in Workplace (2023 52 Book Club)